This week I found out that my “good sis” has been moving real foul behind my back. I mean some rock bottom girl code violation, AND spiritual damnation type stuff. The type of stuff that we’d write off, along with her, as unforgiveable. So much so, that as I was being increasingly more exposed to the drama with her, my pastor, whom I am convinced, through no desire of his own, has personal conversations with God about me, posted this.
My mother, who would have no thought of forgiveness for this former friend was the voice that God chose to tell me about this post, which he captioned, “forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ".
- Ephesians 4:32
WARNING!!
CONTROVERSIAL OPINION
LOADING…
So, here’s the thing. Anyone who
knows what I’ve learned about this “friend” over the past month would certainly
want to throw her in a trash can and close the lid. But what part of God and
the Christian walk is that?
Now admittedly, my Julie says that
I have “limitless” grace, and my Qiana referred to me as “nonconfrontational to
a fault” but aren’t both of those things (in most instances) evidence of God’s
seed taking root in our lives? I mean some things just truly are above us – and
we have to let them rest however they might in God’s hands, because the reality
of the matter is that GOOD SEED ALWAYS BEARS
GOOD FRUIT. And we should all desire to bear the absolute best fruit
for the Kingdom.
The problem is what we allow to take root in our spirit.
The people involved in all that I
have learned this week and over the past month are all “spiritual people” in
spiritual position, but this reminds us that even people in spiritual position
are humans who fall short.
Now certainly, there is
accountability required, and all the more so for those in spiritual positions,
but what does that have to do with the harmed or offended party? I have said a
million times and I will continue to say – I don’t have to go to God with or
for anyone, having neither heaven nor hell to put anyone in.
So, why not forgive?
Most often the first issue is a
misunderstanding of forgiveness and a presence of emotion. When you see things
like babymomma/babydaddy drama, the unforgiveness is rooted in emotion. Someone
who was hurt has not yet healed and so they continue in a traumatic cycle of
acts and events that prevent both forgiveness and forward movement. But God
gave me this week’s revelation at a time when it wouldn’t hurt me…so why not forgive? Because
the second issue with forgiveness is the fact that we often forget that
forgiveness is for us, not the person we’re forgiving.
My Pastor’s post challenges us to see others as
God sees us, and God sees us in many ways, I believe. The Bible speaks of the
goodness God sees in us, but it also refers to us as inherently flawed humans –
“sinners from birth”. Certainly, both are true. Every “good” person has some
bad deep within them and every “bad” person has some good. The differences manifest
themselves based on what we allow to take root in our spirit. Because my
bearing good fruit brings glory to God, I have to be careful what I allow to
take root, weeding my spirit constantly, and as Paul says in I Corinthians, I buffet my
flesh daily to keep it under subjection,
because the same way that I can’t go to God for you, there is no one who can go
to God for me. That’s
what forgiveness is about!!
About letting go of the judgements
that we place on others and allowing God to take up the fight. It is His place
to deal with these people the way He sees fit, and if there’s one thing I know
for certain – God don’t play about His children!! The same way that mother’s
will say, “I’ll fight a kid!” when their child is being bullied…God feels
the very same way about us!
We all reap what we sow, and we are
all held accountable for our knowledge and actions. I personally want to reap
the goodness that I have placed in the earth and want to be held accountable
for rightdoing instead of choosing
wrongdoing. So today, I forgive not only because I have been forgiven, but
because I understand what that means.
To anyone involved in the
horrendous acts revealed in the past week or month, know that this is not a pass for your wrongdoing, this is
a courtesy
call to tell you that I’m
not the one you need to be worried about.
What’s done is done, no matter when
or where you did it. Be it done in the light or dark, nothing stays a secret
forever.
To those reading this who struggle
with forgiveness, know that it’s not as hard as you think. Pray for God to take
the hurt out of it. Once He soothes the sting, the path forward proves much
smoother.
People always say, “I can forgive,
but I won’t forget”. GOD DOESN’T WANT YOU TOO!! Your memory is a protective
mechanism in your life. God allows us to remember so that we know what’s good
for us. If you burned yourself and you forgot what being burned feels like,
you’ll burn yourself again. The act of being burned by an iron, fire, or hot
stove, taught you to put boundaries in place that prevented you from being
burned by those things again.
BEING
BURNED BY PEOPLE IS THE SAME WAY.
You erect
or adjust boundaries that prevent it from happening again.
Forgiveness says, “I love you. I
pray for the inherent shortfalls of your humanness the same way that I pray for
my own, BUT DON’T COME OVER HERE WIT’ ALL THAT!!”
You can’t come back across a bridge that you set fire to as you crossed it. God gave me this memory to keep me safe from you. You won’t get to burn me twice BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND FORGIVENESS.
